blog deondriea

Why ask Why?

We lose jobs, friendship fades away, and relationships dissolve. We face hurts, loss, disappointments and heartache. Why?

Why is it that we try to do the right thing, we have the best of intentions, give wholeheartedly, and are authentic, but bad things still happen? Or, things do not unfold how we imagined. These experiences chip away at our self-esteem and confidence.

Bad things happen to good people, and there are several reasons why. One reason is to teach us about ourselves. To test our commitments that we made to ourselves, to challenge us to grow beyond our current state and to establish personal boundaries. So often we look at tragedy or hurt as a bad thing, but we never stop to assess the situation and look at the positive outcomes.

I’ve learned there is value in everything. I’m not sad it’s over, but I’m happy that it happened. I hate how it happened. I’m not even upset that I endured pain, but I’m excited about how it shaped me. Cutting and pruning both feel the same, but pruning is designed for growth, not your demise. If we begin to look at the experiences as lessons learned, we then are able to keep our confidence in tact. Just because something goes wrong, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with us.

The next time you ask yourself, “Why did this happen?” change that “why” to a “what.” What did I learn? What did I gain? What can I do differently? Learn what your hot buttons are, learn to trust yourself and learn to look at people and situations at face value rather than how we would like them to be.

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